National Putz

Oh, would this newspaper just roll over and die already? It's like watching a spider croak after you spray Raid on it.

I've been reduced to reading it on my lunch break because somebody else has been getting to the Globe and Mail before me, and I skim through the Toronto Star online in the morning.

Thing is, there isn't much to read. The front page is like, 6 pages long. Last week, they published an editorial defending Neil French, the formerly "legendary adman" who is now merely legendary for being a complete idiot. I mean, fine, publish opinion pieces from writers on both sides - but an editorial?

Yes, this is the National Post 's definitive opinion on women in the corporate world:

For better or worse (and we argue that it is for the better), women tend to have the perspective to recognize the enduring importance of family and community. Men, by contrast, have a greater tendency to become single-mindedly focused on advancing themselves in corporate hierarchies. In most organizations, therefore, men tend to work longer hours, and make more sacrifices, for their employers[...]Of course, there are women out there living just this sort of unappealing life [...] But many such women understandandably become emotionally burnt out -- which explains why, at the highest ranks of the corporate world, a disproportionate number of women are childless. The idea that the dearth of female executives is the result of some sort of sexist "glass ceiling" is mostly a myth: The gender imbalance in the corner office is caused primarily by self-selection, not discrimination.

Oh, I get it: it's my biology, and not institutionalized sexism, that will hold me back from the corner office. See, I'm a woman, and according to the National Post, the fact that I have ovaries means that I have a special perspective on the "enduring importance of family and community". Good thing that I do, because somebody's going to have to keep those home fires burning while hubby works tirelessly to "advance himself through corporate hierarchies" and bring home the wildebeest. The corporate world is absolutely A-OK the way it is - it's just that girls who want to have kids and careers don't belong there. If we try, we'll burn ourselves out. But we shouldn't attempt to change this. Oh no. We should just Accept that this is the Way Things Are.

Excuse me while I barf.

I had a good chuckle today, though, while reading the Mergers & Acquisitions page - you know, the one that goes on and on in ooey gooey detail about the non-society weddings of people who aspire to be Society. Today's story was about a young couple who dated for *12* years (something I can't understand, but anyway). So the guy finally gets around to asking the girl (because the guy ALWAYS asks the girl, doncha know). Only when he brings her to the spot where they first met so he can pop the question, he can't talk because he's "balling his eyes out".

Surely not before the wedding!

I think they meant "bawling". It was unintentionally hilarious. Maybe you had to be there.